Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Family Secret

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?" 
Romans  6:1

I was sitting with a gentleman at a picnic table and we were talking about sin.  I know, I know, .... I definitely need to a buy book on conversation starters.  It sounds like one of those deep conversations, but it was really just one of those times where one thing led to another and all of the sudden we found ourselves discussing sin.  He told me that he had a lot of things he regretted and went on to say he asked for God's forgiveness from those particular sins every day.  This person was quite simply weighted down by past sin.  Now don't misunderstand.  This person had a very good job, was married with one child and, by appearances, a good husband and Father.  He just harbored an "unforgiven" feeling that no amount of prayer could change.

Sin affects all of us, both directly and indirectly.  Our inability live a righteous life, as well as our inability to "clean" ourselves (or feel clean) is the whole reason we need a Savior.  If we could somehow find a way to cleanse ourselves from sin and clean our thoughts and future actions, we would have no need for a Savior.  We realize that on our own, we can't change our sinful nature, and no amount of individualized effort can make it go away.  We are also indirectly affected in that one persons sin can affect another person.  An alcoholic Father affects everyone in the house.  Make no mistake about it: We need a Savior.

A popular discussion topic in the world of professional therapy has been "Family Systems".  Now, I am not a therapist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express!  Basic thing here is that a family is a "system" or unit and whatever is being treated (by the therapist) takes all members of that "system" into account before a proper therapy is prescribed for the individual.  Again, the rudimentary approach here is to not only treat the individual, but to treat the individual in light of the particular dynamics present in the family.

Now, change the "system" from family to Church, call the stress sin, and you have a very interesting discussion.  The question then becomes, if a Church Family System does exist (and it does), then how does our individual sin affect the system?  I believe the answer is immeasurably, and the way we support our members in recognizing this fact is vital to the success of our mission.

The way we as individuals handle sin is not unlike the different ways we cope with stresses of a family system.  You know what I'm talking about here.  Whatever the problem, each individual in the family system copes uniquely.  Some want to talk (and talk, and talk, and talk), some don't want to talk (and are completely frustrated by those that do), some want to ignore the problem (it happened, can we move on please?), and still others just plain don't think there is a problem (good grief, who's to say what's right?).

One of my favorite movies is "Moonstruck".  There's a part in the movie where one of the characters is attempting understand why her husband is having an affair.  The answer, she decides, is that men "fear death".  Thus, when her husband returns home, she looks at him and says, "Hey, I just want you to know that you're gonna die". 

Fact is:  sin does exist (and yes, you are gonna die), and no amount of talking, silence, ignorance, or worldly rationalization will change this fact.  Whatever your personality type is, sin is a very real and present danger to our Churches.

So, the question remains, how then do we functionally deal with our sin?  While this may seem like a rhetorical question, there are practical steps we can take to address it.

Mark 7:18-20 says this:
18 “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? 19 For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.) 20 He went on: “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. …

Before we begin, we must get one thing straight.  The primary action is to put sin in its place: We need first to repent and turn from being led by our sin nature, and follow Jesus.  In short, Give your life to Jesus.  Before Jesus, sin was our master; after Jesus, sin was conquered.  Make this change, and, in the words of that famous cook Emeril Lagasse from the Cooking Channel, "Bam".  Check the first box.

While sinless in the eyes of God thru Jesus, we need to then admit to the continued presence of sin in our hearts.  While our sins have been forgiven, our sinful condition remains.  I went to a men's retreat once where the speaker said that he had gotten so turned around in his Christian life that he actually thought he had conquered sin!  I find that amazing.  If we don't admit we're sick, we won't need a healer.  While I am not Roman Catholic, I will say that their discipline of regular confession keeps them aware of their sin.

Next, we need to stand before God and confess to Him this recognized state of sinfulness.  Just as in any relationship, keeping that kind of stuff in spoils the relationship.  Those of us that are married know that confession to your spouse keeps you honest and builds trust.  How many times have you said to your spouse, "I'm sorry, sweetheart.  I screwed up.  I had the best of intentions, but they just weren't good enough."  That kind of relational activity builds and deepens intimacy.  It works the same way in our relationship with God.

Third, ask for God's forgiveness in the name of Jesus who is your Savior.  God can take no sin.  No matter how "tuned in" to our sin we become, God can have none of it.  We must never forget that God can take no sin.  Thus, when we ask for forgiveness, it must be in the name of Jesus.  I've always said that God sees us thru "Son Glasses".  As a gift from our loving Jesus, our sins are now covered; we have been paroled from the penitentiary of our sin.  That said, we are still sinful.  God only sees no sin as a result of the cover of Jesus.  Our personal conclusion should be that we are in serious need of of a Savior.  You are not sinless, just forgiven.  The more clear that reality is, the more precious our Savior will become.  The more powerless I become in my ability to overcome sin, the more powerful my need for a Savior.

Finally, we need to believe in forgiveness and forgive ourselves.  This may be the hardest part, as we are much more likely to forgive someone else than we are to forgive ourselves.  Again, there are things you can do.  I will mention my favorite.  Take the sins that are giving you the most trouble, write them on a slips of paper, put them in a some sort of safe container and burn them.  Then dig a hole and bury the ashes.  Remember our world will never be perfect.  Perfection awaits us in heaven.

We must make the above process a regular discipline in our lives, so our relationship with God improves.  We call this sort of thing a habit of holiness;  a discipline that causes us to become more separate unto God. This kind of a discipline will cause us to constantly be aware of our dire need of a Savior.  This discipline will build up a humility inside of us that allows us to worship God more and more with every word and thought and deed.

J. I. Packer said the following, "Repentance means turning from as much as you know of your sin, to give as much as you know of yourself, to as much as you know of your God, and as our knowledge grows at these three points so our practice of repentance has to be enlarged."

Bottom line is that we need relationship with God.  Yet, our human condition creates a void that only Jesus can span.  Thus, we need Jesus.  And by regularly remembering that our natural condition hasn't really changed, are hearts are drawn more and more to Him as our Savior from them.

Remember here our goal as a Christian community is to go and make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19).  We need to work to make that process more and more effective.  Sin and its consequences affect that mission.  Our example of a functional relationship is the Trinity; that wonderful, perfect relationship which is God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit.  Think about it for a moment.  A perfect relationship of perfect love.  When we worship God in Jesus, we are tapping into a perfection that will indeed change our lives.  A change felt not just personally, but in the lives of all those in community of believers around us.

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,

Amen.

Tim